1
00:00:00,001 --> 00:00:04,279
Terrible Tudors, gorgeous Georgians
Slimy Stuarts, vile Victorians

2
00:00:04,280 --> 00:00:07,039
Woeful wars, ferocious fights
Dingy castles, daring knights

3
00:00:07,040 --> 00:00:10,279
Horrors that defy description
Cut-throat Celts, awful Egyptians

4
00:00:10,280 --> 00:00:12,719
Vicious Vikings, cruel crimes
Punishment from ancient times

5
00:00:12,720 --> 00:00:15,479
Romans, rotten, rank and ruthless
Cavemen, savage, fierce and toothless

6
00:00:15,480 --> 00:00:18,119
Groovy Greeks, brainy
sages Mean and measly Middle Ages

7
00:00:18,120 --> 00:00:23,519
Gory stories, we do that
And your host, a talking rat

8
00:00:23,520 --> 00:00:27,439
The past is no longer a mystery Welcome to...

9
00:00:27,440 --> 00:00:32,000
Horrible Histories.

10
00:00:36,800 --> 00:00:40,519
Being held prisoner in the
Middle Ages could be pretty nasty.

11
00:00:40,520 --> 00:00:42,280
But that wasn't always the case.

12
00:00:43,080 --> 00:00:47,039
His Majesty John Balliol,
the rightful King of Scotland.

13
00:00:47,040 --> 00:00:48,679
Hey, did you see that grouse?

14
00:00:48,680 --> 00:00:52,039
Here, give those to cook. Tell
her to add them to tonight's banquet.

15
00:00:52,040 --> 00:00:54,439
You, play me a song. Something soothing.

16
00:00:54,440 --> 00:00:57,239
It's been a very busy day

17
00:00:57,240 --> 00:01:00,599
and who the devil are you?

18
00:01:00,600 --> 00:01:04,279
- I'm the legal expert you sent for, Sire.
- Ah, the lawyer.

19
00:01:04,280 --> 00:01:05,359
Excellent. Come on.

20
00:01:05,360 --> 00:01:09,199
Now, I am hoping that you can help me

21
00:01:09,200 --> 00:01:12,399
overturn a terrible miscarriage of justice.

22
00:01:12,400 --> 00:01:15,559
There is a very important
man currently languishing

23
00:01:15,560 --> 00:01:19,679
in the most famous jail in England
and I want you to get him out.

24
00:01:19,680 --> 00:01:22,119
Of course, your Majesty, and who is this man?

25
00:01:22,120 --> 00:01:23,799
It's me, you idiot!

26
00:01:23,800 --> 00:01:26,519
You wouldn't keep an animal like this.
It's inhumane.

27
00:01:26,520 --> 00:01:27,799
Fruit, Sire?

28
00:01:27,800 --> 00:01:31,479
I don't like grapes. You see what I mean?

29
00:01:31,480 --> 00:01:33,119
So this isn't your castle, then?

30
00:01:33,120 --> 00:01:35,919
This is the Tower of London.

31
00:01:35,920 --> 00:01:38,919
I am the King of Scotland.

32
00:01:38,920 --> 00:01:41,799
Well, I was, until your stupid
King Edward stole my throne

33
00:01:41,800 --> 00:01:43,719
and trapped me in here.

34
00:01:43,720 --> 00:01:45,639
I am a King reduced

35
00:01:45,640 --> 00:01:47,559
to the status of a bum.

36
00:01:47,560 --> 00:01:48,599
HE SNORTS

37
00:01:48,600 --> 00:01:50,919
Don't laugh at bum, Terry.

38
00:01:50,920 --> 00:01:52,039
It demeans us both.

39
00:01:52,040 --> 00:01:54,079
Well, Sire, if I'm completely honest.

40
00:01:54,080 --> 00:01:56,639
I've visited a few jails in my time

41
00:01:56,640 --> 00:01:58,600
and the conditions here are...

42
00:01:59,680 --> 00:02:01,919
..not the worst I've seen.

43
00:02:01,920 --> 00:02:04,199
It would seem you've just been out hunting.

44
00:02:04,200 --> 00:02:05,719
And your point is?

45
00:02:05,720 --> 00:02:07,959
Most prisons, they don't tend to let you out.

46
00:02:07,960 --> 00:02:09,959
In fact, as far as I can see,

47
00:02:09,960 --> 00:02:13,679
the only real punishment here
is how much you must miss your family.

48
00:02:13,680 --> 00:02:16,039
Why would I? They're right next door.

49
00:02:16,040 --> 00:02:18,119
- All right, kids?
- Hello, Daddy!

50
00:02:18,120 --> 00:02:20,759
Well, in that case, if I may speak frankly,

51
00:02:20,760 --> 00:02:23,959
I've no idea what on earth
you're complaining about.

52
00:02:23,960 --> 00:02:25,799
Of course you don't.

53
00:02:25,800 --> 00:02:28,799
Because you're not a Scotsman.

54
00:02:28,800 --> 00:02:34,399
You don't know what it's like
to have your body here in London,

55
00:02:34,400 --> 00:02:38,559
when your heart and soul
lives only in the Highlands

56
00:02:38,560 --> 00:02:40,919
and until I am returned to my homeland,

57
00:02:40,920 --> 00:02:45,839
I shall be a prisoner every day of my life.

58
00:02:45,840 --> 00:02:48,759
I could probably get you banished to France.

59
00:02:48,760 --> 00:02:52,439
Done! Actually that's
better, cos the weather's nice.

60
00:02:52,440 --> 00:02:54,599
OK, everyone. We're moving to France.

61
00:02:54,600 --> 00:02:56,359
ALL: Yeah!

62
00:02:56,360 --> 00:02:58,439
Not you. Come on, everyone. Join on.

63
00:02:58,440 --> 00:03:02,920
Vive la France, hey! Vive
la France, hey! Vive la France...

64
00:03:04,440 --> 00:03:07,719
That's 100% accu-rat.

65
00:03:07,720 --> 00:03:10,919
John Balliol, King of Scotland
was released from the infamous

66
00:03:10,920 --> 00:03:14,919
Tower of London in 1299
and allowed to go to France.

67
00:03:14,920 --> 00:03:19,200
But not everyone found it
quite so easy to escape the Tower.

68
00:03:21,360 --> 00:03:23,719
Stupid deaths, stupid deaths

69
00:03:23,720 --> 00:03:25,879
They're funny cos they're true

70
00:03:25,880 --> 00:03:28,559
Wooh! Stupid deaths, stupid deaths

71
00:03:28,560 --> 00:03:31,719
Hope next time it's not you. Hee-hee!

72
00:03:31,720 --> 00:03:34,239
Yes, they've been a bit boring today.

73
00:03:34,240 --> 00:03:38,319
Sometimes I worry we'll never find
another really, really stupid death.

74
00:03:38,320 --> 00:03:40,199
Next!

75
00:03:40,200 --> 00:03:44,319
Woah! Hold the phones. We've found a doozy. Name?

76
00:03:44,320 --> 00:03:46,799
- Griffith Ap Llewelyn.
- Let's hear your story.

77
00:03:46,800 --> 00:03:48,719
I can't wait. Come on, come on.

78
00:03:48,720 --> 00:03:52,319
So, I was a prisoner locked high
up in the famous Tower of London.

79
00:03:52,320 --> 00:03:53,999
But I wasn't going to hang about.

80
00:03:54,000 --> 00:03:56,639
- I had a brilliant plan for escaping, see.
- Go on, go on.

81
00:03:56,640 --> 00:03:59,759
So I made a rope out of bed sheets

82
00:03:59,760 --> 00:04:02,879
and lowered it out of the
window to escape from the Tower.

83
00:04:02,880 --> 00:04:04,239
Ye-es?

84
00:04:04,240 --> 00:04:06,119
Down and down I went until...

85
00:04:06,120 --> 00:04:09,039
- Please be good! Please be good!
- I ran out of bed sheet!

86
00:04:09,040 --> 00:04:10,279
HE LAUGHS

87
00:04:10,280 --> 00:04:12,079
I made it 10 metres too short!

88
00:04:12,080 --> 00:04:15,239
I fell, landed on my head and died.

89
00:04:15,240 --> 00:04:17,079
Aha-ha-ha-ha!

90
00:04:17,080 --> 00:04:20,439
- That's why I've gone like that.
- And that's why you're "Uurgh!" Oh, hey.

91
00:04:20,440 --> 00:04:23,199
Er, what do you call the
Welshman who tries to escape

92
00:04:23,200 --> 00:04:25,839
with a rope that's 10 metres too short?

93
00:04:25,840 --> 00:04:29,039
- Dai the Stupid Death.
- THEY LAUGH

94
00:04:29,040 --> 00:04:31,079
Spelled D-A-I. Cos it's a Welsh name.

95
00:04:31,080 --> 00:04:33,679
- Yeah, it's like the Welsh name, Dai.
- Do you get it?

96
00:04:33,680 --> 00:04:35,839
- Well, me and him get it.
- That's right.

97
00:04:35,840 --> 00:04:39,399
Very good. Congratulations.
You're through to the afterlife.

98
00:04:39,400 --> 00:04:42,239
- See you later.
- Oh! Er, mind how you go.

99
00:04:42,240 --> 00:04:44,799
There's a bit of a drop on the other side.

100
00:04:44,800 --> 00:04:46,279
HE LAUGHS

101
00:04:46,280 --> 00:04:50,639
- I'd land on my bottom and my head would pop back out.
- It might do!

102
00:04:50,640 --> 00:04:53,879
- Off you go, now.
- OK, See you later. - Don't milk it.

103
00:04:53,880 --> 00:04:57,079
I like him a lot. Best we've had today.
I mean it.

104
00:04:57,080 --> 00:04:58,679
I won't hear anything else.

105
00:04:58,680 --> 00:05:00,719
Shh! Next!

106
00:05:00,720 --> 00:05:02,959
Stupid deaths, stupid deaths

107
00:05:02,960 --> 00:05:06,240
Hope next time it's not yo-o-ou.

108
00:05:22,600 --> 00:05:24,079
Good morning, Mrs Grimshaw.

109
00:05:24,080 --> 00:05:27,119
- And how are we feeling today?
- Oh, my throat is killing me.

110
00:05:27,120 --> 00:05:29,759
- Don't you worry. The doctor will be here soon.
- Yeah.

111
00:05:29,760 --> 00:05:33,439
- It's amazing what they can do with modern medicine, isn't it?
- Mm, yeah.

112
00:05:33,440 --> 00:05:35,839
But unfortunately, you won't be getting any.

113
00:05:35,840 --> 00:05:37,679
You're doctor's from Ancient Rome.

114
00:05:37,680 --> 00:05:40,039
Hail, patient. I'm Dr Galen.

115
00:05:40,040 --> 00:05:41,679
What appears to be the problem?

116
00:05:41,680 --> 00:05:43,279
This is Mrs Grimshaw.

117
00:05:43,280 --> 00:05:46,599
She was admitted late last night
with inflammation of the throat.

118
00:05:46,600 --> 00:05:48,599
Oh, yes. She appears to have a rash.

119
00:05:48,600 --> 00:05:50,199
Possibly a reaction to a bite.

120
00:05:50,200 --> 00:05:53,639
- Nurse, bring me a spider immediately.
- What for?

121
00:05:53,640 --> 00:05:55,079
The best cure for a spider bite

122
00:05:55,080 --> 00:05:57,199
is to crush the body of the spider in the bite.

123
00:05:57,200 --> 00:05:58,959
I don't think it's a spider bite.

124
00:05:58,960 --> 00:06:01,759
A snake? Then we should pour wine up her nostrils

125
00:06:01,760 --> 00:06:03,239
and smear the bite in pig poo.

126
00:06:03,240 --> 00:06:05,919
No, I don't think it's a bite at all.

127
00:06:05,920 --> 00:06:08,719
She says the pain is inside her throat.

128
00:06:08,720 --> 00:06:12,119
Yeah, yeah. It's red raw.
I could barely breathe last night.

129
00:06:12,120 --> 00:06:14,279
I thought I was having some sort of seizure.

130
00:06:14,280 --> 00:06:17,519
Hail, Seizure. Well, that could
be epilepsy but don't you worry.

131
00:06:17,520 --> 00:06:21,959
A nice glass of gladiator's
blood and you'll be right as rain.

132
00:06:21,960 --> 00:06:23,479
Mm, nutty.

133
00:06:23,480 --> 00:06:27,879
- You said it, love.
- Doctor, here's a crazy idea.

134
00:06:27,880 --> 00:06:31,039
Why don't you come round here
and have a look down her throat?

135
00:06:31,040 --> 00:06:32,839
Mm. Couldn't hurt, I suppose.

136
00:06:32,840 --> 00:06:34,440
All right. Open wide.

137
00:06:35,520 --> 00:06:38,039
Oh. Looks like tonsillitis.

138
00:06:38,040 --> 00:06:40,119
Er, nurse, fetch the surgeon.

139
00:06:40,120 --> 00:06:42,159
Don't worry, Mrs G.

140
00:06:42,160 --> 00:06:44,959
- We'll have those nasty tonsils out in no time.
- Finally!

141
00:06:44,960 --> 00:06:48,239
- Someone who knows what they're doing.
- I wouldn't be so sure.

142
00:06:48,240 --> 00:06:50,439
- Hail, Claudius.
- Hail, Geoff.

143
00:06:50,440 --> 00:06:53,639
So, whipping out the old tonsils, are we?

144
00:06:53,640 --> 00:06:55,279
Oh, is that going to be painful?

145
00:06:55,280 --> 00:06:58,039
Yes! Yes, it is. But don't worry.

146
00:06:58,040 --> 00:07:00,279
Us Roman surgeons are specially trained

147
00:07:00,280 --> 00:07:03,239
to completely block out the sound of screaming.

148
00:07:03,240 --> 00:07:05,119
THEY LAUGH

149
00:07:05,120 --> 00:07:06,599
Now, then.

150
00:07:06,600 --> 00:07:09,279
- Waaaah!
- Did anyone hear something?

151
00:07:09,280 --> 00:07:11,079
Waaah!

152
00:07:11,080 --> 00:07:14,080
Couldn't hear a thing. Couldn't hear a thing.

153
00:07:15,960 --> 00:07:18,199
It's true. Roman army surgeons

154
00:07:18,200 --> 00:07:20,959
really were trained to
ignore shouting and screaming.

155
00:07:20,960 --> 00:07:23,919
As are us rats, when
we're spotted in the kitchen.

156
00:07:23,920 --> 00:07:26,719
They were actually very good at healing wounds

157
00:07:26,720 --> 00:07:28,639
and thanks to them, lots of soldiers

158
00:07:28,640 --> 00:07:31,319
survived some pretty terrible injuries.

159
00:07:31,320 --> 00:07:34,919
But not all Roman medicine
was as sensible. No, no.

160
00:07:34,920 --> 00:07:38,559
Hi, I'm a shouty man and
I'm here to tell you about

161
00:07:38,560 --> 00:07:40,759
new Criminal's Head.

162
00:07:40,760 --> 00:07:42,639
It's the Roman medical sensation.

163
00:07:42,640 --> 00:07:45,759
You won't believe all the things
new Criminal's Head can cure.

164
00:07:45,760 --> 00:07:47,639
Do you suffer from gum disease?

165
00:07:47,640 --> 00:07:49,279
- Uurgh!
- I'm no scientist,

166
00:07:49,280 --> 00:07:51,879
but I'll take that as a yes.

167
00:07:51,880 --> 00:07:54,159
Simply pluck a tooth from new Criminal's Head

168
00:07:54,160 --> 00:07:56,479
and scrape it against your diseased gums.

169
00:07:56,480 --> 00:07:58,599
It'll get rid of those nasty painful sores

170
00:07:58,600 --> 00:08:00,559
and make them up to a bit percent better.

171
00:08:00,560 --> 00:08:03,439
- I don't think it worked.
- It did.

172
00:08:03,440 --> 00:08:06,079
And there's more. Have you been bitten by a dog?

173
00:08:06,080 --> 00:08:07,919
- Grrr!
- I'm no scientist,

174
00:08:07,920 --> 00:08:09,319
but I'll take that as a yes.

175
00:08:09,320 --> 00:08:11,719
Then simply swallow one of these pills,

176
00:08:11,720 --> 00:08:14,159
made from the skull of new Criminal's Head

177
00:08:14,160 --> 00:08:16,639
and your dog bite will be cured in no time.

178
00:08:16,640 --> 00:08:19,439
Is there nothing you
can't do? And that's not all.

179
00:08:19,440 --> 00:08:23,679
New Criminal's Head will cure
all known diseases, or no money back.

180
00:08:23,680 --> 00:08:25,079
Are you sick?

181
00:08:25,080 --> 00:08:26,399
I'm no scientist,

182
00:08:26,400 --> 00:08:28,639
but that looks contagious. Is it contagious?

183
00:08:28,640 --> 00:08:31,439
Then simply take a hair from new Criminal's Head

184
00:08:31,440 --> 00:08:34,120
and you won't believe... Oh, dear. Never mind.

185
00:08:37,800 --> 00:08:40,919
And for this month only, buy new Criminal's Head

186
00:08:40,920 --> 00:08:43,399
and get Hanky Dipped in Blood absolutely free.

187
00:08:43,400 --> 00:08:45,439
That's right. New Hanky Dipped In Blood,

188
00:08:45,440 --> 00:08:47,799
dipped in the blood of new Criminal's Head.

189
00:08:47,800 --> 00:08:50,879
Guaranteed to bring you good luuuuuu...

190
00:08:50,880 --> 00:08:52,840
Or no money back.

191
00:09:09,680 --> 00:09:11,319
The answer is

192
00:09:11,320 --> 00:09:12,720
all three.

193
00:09:16,360 --> 00:09:19,999
In fact, before the French Revolution of 1789,

194
00:09:20,000 --> 00:09:23,639
the lives of the rich and poor
couldn't have been more different.

195
00:09:23,640 --> 00:09:26,639
This week, we're in France
for a special royal edition

196
00:09:26,640 --> 00:09:28,519
of Historical Wife Swap.

197
00:09:28,520 --> 00:09:31,999
The King of France, Louis
XVI and his wife, Marie Antoinette

198
00:09:32,000 --> 00:09:34,679
will be doing a Wife Swap with...

199
00:09:34,680 --> 00:09:37,399
Mr and Mrs French Peasant.

200
00:09:37,400 --> 00:09:40,840
But how will these two extremes
of the French class system get on?

201
00:09:43,880 --> 00:09:46,880
Welcome to my humble abode, Mrs Peasant.

202
00:09:49,880 --> 00:09:52,919
Oh, your trousers. They
appear to be around your ankles.

203
00:09:52,920 --> 00:09:56,039
I know! I do it all the
time to make my friends laugh.

204
00:09:56,040 --> 00:09:57,799
A-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha!

205
00:09:57,800 --> 00:10:01,239
Because I am your loveable,
eccentric King Louis XVI.

206
00:10:01,240 --> 00:10:03,359
Ah, we are going to have so much fun!

207
00:10:03,360 --> 00:10:06,799
Benoit, you show Mrs Peasant to her room. Oh!

208
00:10:06,800 --> 00:10:09,439
If you don't like it, you can pick another one.

209
00:10:09,440 --> 00:10:11,279
We have 700 rooms here. Hah?

210
00:10:11,280 --> 00:10:14,119
Meanwhile, over at the Peasant cottage...

211
00:10:14,120 --> 00:10:15,879
Which way is my room?

212
00:10:15,880 --> 00:10:19,679
- This is your room. And my room. It is
- THE - room.

213
00:10:19,680 --> 00:10:23,199
Ha-ha-ha! Oh, very funny!

214
00:10:23,200 --> 00:10:25,999
My husband also likes to drop his trousers.

215
00:10:26,000 --> 00:10:30,319
I've lost so much weight
zat they keep falling down.

216
00:10:30,320 --> 00:10:32,839
Us French peasants are starving to death.

217
00:10:32,840 --> 00:10:36,839
Well, anyway. It's very funny when Louis does it.

218
00:10:36,840 --> 00:10:39,599
So, are things going any
better at the royal palace?

219
00:10:39,600 --> 00:10:43,999
- Tell me, Mrs P, would you like some cake?
- Oh, yes, please.

220
00:10:44,000 --> 00:10:47,400
Benoit? Bring some cake, please.

221
00:10:49,120 --> 00:10:50,919
Ah! SPLAT!

222
00:10:50,920 --> 00:10:52,760
Oh, I am a loveable eccentric, non?

223
00:10:53,920 --> 00:10:55,319
Am I not, Benoit?

224
00:10:55,320 --> 00:10:57,639
Oui. Tres amusant(!)

225
00:10:57,640 --> 00:11:00,559
Oh, do you mind? Only I haven't eaten for weeks.

226
00:11:00,560 --> 00:11:02,200
- Be my guest.
- Mm.

227
00:11:02,680 --> 00:11:07,479
Ze King just asked me if I wanted
to have a bath in crushed strawberries.

228
00:11:07,480 --> 00:11:09,999
These royals, they are so out of touch!

229
00:11:10,000 --> 00:11:14,719
We peasants are starving and they
are having baths full of strawberries?!

230
00:11:14,720 --> 00:11:19,759
Obviously, I will scoff the lot.
I am a starving peasant.

231
00:11:19,760 --> 00:11:21,279
Mm!

232
00:11:21,280 --> 00:11:24,599
It's supper time at the peasant cottage.

233
00:11:24,600 --> 00:11:28,319
You don't expect me to eat grass!
Do you think I look like a cow?

234
00:11:28,320 --> 00:11:30,439
Serious question?

235
00:11:30,440 --> 00:11:32,879
But surely you peasants don't really eat grass?

236
00:11:32,880 --> 00:11:35,159
Last year, there was a terrible harvest

237
00:11:35,160 --> 00:11:38,479
and now the price of wheat
is so high, we can't afford bread.

238
00:11:38,480 --> 00:11:42,360
So yes, some of us have resorted to eating grass.

239
00:11:48,680 --> 00:11:52,079
I must say that this whole experience

240
00:11:52,080 --> 00:11:55,879
has been a real eye-opener for me.

241
00:11:55,880 --> 00:11:57,959
I mean, the poverty, the hardships,

242
00:11:57,960 --> 00:12:01,079
I have learnt so much.

243
00:12:01,080 --> 00:12:06,399
Like never hang out with peasants. Yuck!

244
00:12:06,400 --> 00:12:07,799
The Wife Swap is at an end,

245
00:12:07,800 --> 00:12:09,839
and it's time for the royals and peasants

246
00:12:09,840 --> 00:12:12,039
to settle their differences.

247
00:12:12,040 --> 00:12:15,240
Oh! Look at that. Your
trousers are round your ankles.

248
00:12:16,160 --> 00:12:19,999
This country does not need
a loveable eccentric for a king.

249
00:12:20,000 --> 00:12:22,919
France is penniless and yet you royals,

250
00:12:22,920 --> 00:12:25,199
you're spending money like it grows on trees.

251
00:12:25,200 --> 00:12:29,839
Which is silly, because it...doesn't?

252
00:12:29,840 --> 00:12:32,919
How can you bear to see
your country in such a state?

253
00:12:32,920 --> 00:12:34,239
Er, excuse me.

254
00:12:34,240 --> 00:12:39,759
I'm from Austria. This isn't actually my country.

255
00:12:39,760 --> 00:12:40,919
It's true!

256
00:12:40,920 --> 00:12:42,679
I don't think you are helping.

257
00:12:42,680 --> 00:12:45,159
- Let's start a revolution.
- Oui.

258
00:12:45,160 --> 00:12:48,359
BOTH: Down with the royals! Vive la revolution!

259
00:12:48,360 --> 00:12:51,319
Don't worry, darling. I know
exactly how to deal with this.

260
00:12:51,320 --> 00:12:53,319
Tick. Tock.

261
00:12:53,320 --> 00:12:55,719
Boom, voila!

262
00:12:55,720 --> 00:12:58,120
A-ha-ha-ha! Look!

263
00:13:00,400 --> 00:13:02,799
I don't think it's working. Run.

264
00:13:02,800 --> 00:13:06,520
- Vive la revolution!
- Wait for me.

265
00:13:07,000 --> 00:13:09,239
And so began the French Revolution.

266
00:13:09,240 --> 00:13:12,679
Louis XIV and Marie Antoinette
tried to escape the angry peasants

267
00:13:12,680 --> 00:13:15,639
in Paris by fleeing disguised as servants.

268
00:13:15,640 --> 00:13:18,479
They were arrested after
a merchant recognised the King

269
00:13:18,480 --> 00:13:21,279
from his face on a coin.

270
00:13:21,280 --> 00:13:22,679
Heads you lose, eh?

271
00:13:22,680 --> 00:13:26,399
Which, as it happens, is exactly
what happened to Louis. Ha-ha-ha!

272
00:13:26,400 --> 00:13:27,439
What?

273
00:13:27,440 --> 00:13:32,280
Oh, he got his head chopped off.
It's a joke! Tut, suit yourself.

274
00:13:34,321 --> 00:13:39,599
The British Army had help
from all kinds of countries

275
00:13:39,600 --> 00:13:42,599
in the First World War, so
you could've been in for a surprise

276
00:13:42,600 --> 00:13:44,720
when you arrived in the British trenches.

277
00:13:47,520 --> 00:13:49,879
Private Tommy Jones reporting for duty, sir.

278
00:13:49,880 --> 00:13:52,319
Proud to be part of the British Army, sir.

279
00:13:52,320 --> 00:13:56,280
Pardon, monsieur. Er, nous
somme le Bataillon Canadien.

280
00:13:58,000 --> 00:14:00,239
Er, am I in the French Army trench?

281
00:14:00,240 --> 00:14:04,559
Non, monsieur. We are Canadian soldiers.

282
00:14:04,560 --> 00:14:08,239
Part of the British Forces
here to fight le Germans.

283
00:14:08,240 --> 00:14:12,999
- Oh. Where can I find the British Regiment?
- That way, my chum.

284
00:14:13,000 --> 00:14:15,840
OK, Thank you. Bit weird, but cheers.

285
00:14:18,280 --> 00:14:20,639
Private Tommy Jones reporting for duty, sir.

286
00:14:20,640 --> 00:14:22,679
Proud to be part of the British Army, sir.

287
00:14:22,680 --> 00:14:24,759
At ease, ya limey shark biscuit.

288
00:14:24,760 --> 00:14:27,119
If you're looking for the other pommy cobbers,

289
00:14:27,120 --> 00:14:30,800
you need to go up there and dip
your lid to the bludger with the stripes.

290
00:14:31,960 --> 00:14:37,319
- YELLS: Where are the British Forces?
- Just hang on a tick, mate.

291
00:14:37,320 --> 00:14:40,679
- We
- ARE - part of the British Forces, ya cheeky larrikin!

292
00:14:40,680 --> 00:14:42,359
Your lot are up there.

293
00:14:42,360 --> 00:14:44,320
All right. Thank you.

294
00:14:47,520 --> 00:14:51,839
Private Tommy Jones reporting
for duty, sir. Er...

295
00:14:51,840 --> 00:14:55,719
I guess you're not looking for
the South African Division, my friend?

296
00:14:55,720 --> 00:14:57,999
No, I'm not. Do you know where the British part

297
00:14:58,000 --> 00:14:59,599
of the British Forces are?

298
00:14:59,600 --> 00:15:01,679
Oh, yeah. You want to head down here,

299
00:15:01,680 --> 00:15:04,559
do a left at the West Indians,
then a right at the Ghurkhas

300
00:15:04,560 --> 00:15:06,999
head straight through the Indian division,

301
00:15:07,000 --> 00:15:09,399
and stop just before the New Zealanders.

302
00:15:09,400 --> 00:15:12,879
- All right? God save the King!
- Yeah, whatever.

303
00:15:12,880 --> 00:15:14,559
- Excuse me.
- Yeah.

304
00:15:14,560 --> 00:15:17,919
Is this the part of the British
Forces with the actual British in?

305
00:15:17,920 --> 00:15:20,399
- That's right.
- Oh, thank goodness for that.

306
00:15:20,400 --> 00:15:22,999
I've spent the last hour looking for you lot.

307
00:15:23,000 --> 00:15:25,999
Half the British Forces are from other countries.

308
00:15:26,000 --> 00:15:28,759
- I couldn't understand a word they said.
- Don't worry. You're here now.

309
00:15:28,760 --> 00:15:32,679
collect your bunk, your fleabag
and your daisies from the devil-dodger,

310
00:15:32,680 --> 00:15:34,319
watch out for chats and Canutes,

311
00:15:34,320 --> 00:15:36,359
you should avoid getting chin-strapped

312
00:15:36,360 --> 00:15:39,760
or sent to the rest camp with
a meat ticket cause you're a landowner.

313
00:15:41,600 --> 00:15:44,239
Know what? I think I might
go back to that French lot.

314
00:15:44,240 --> 00:15:48,159
Au revoir!

315
00:15:48,160 --> 00:15:49,559
That's right.

316
00:15:49,560 --> 00:15:53,999
In World War I, soldiers from
Canada, Australia, South Africa,

317
00:15:54,000 --> 00:15:57,999
India and other countries
fought for Britain in France.

318
00:15:58,000 --> 00:16:00,999
Thousands of miles away
from their homes and families.

319
00:16:01,000 --> 00:16:06,199
Alongside troops from England,
Wales, Ireland and Scotland.

320
00:16:06,200 --> 00:16:09,599
Because your legs are beautiful,

321
00:16:09,600 --> 00:16:12,159
because your skin is beautiful,

322
00:16:12,160 --> 00:16:13,919
because you're worth it,

323
00:16:13,920 --> 00:16:17,599
wear ladies tights beneath your kilt.

324
00:16:17,600 --> 00:16:19,639
- Hang on, that's a man!?
- That's right.

325
00:16:19,640 --> 00:16:23,159
Scottish soldiers always wear
ladies tights in the trenches.

326
00:16:23,160 --> 00:16:26,639
For one, it keeps you nice and warm and for two,

327
00:16:26,640 --> 00:16:29,239
ye dinnae want bare legs if there's a gas attack.

328
00:16:29,240 --> 00:16:32,799
Here's the expensive graphic-y bit.

329
00:16:32,800 --> 00:16:36,119
In tests, ladies tights have
been proven to stop up to 90%

330
00:16:36,120 --> 00:16:39,599
of the damage enemy gas
attacks cause to naked legs.

331
00:16:39,600 --> 00:16:41,999
So now, whatever the Germans throw at you,

332
00:16:42,000 --> 00:16:44,559
you can wear your kilt with confidence.

333
00:16:44,560 --> 00:16:46,919
New ladies tights for men.

334
00:16:46,920 --> 00:16:50,999
Because in the trenches, a man's
best friend is his ladies tights.

335
00:16:51,000 --> 00:16:54,880
Oof! Though they don't half ride up a bit. Oh!

336
00:17:00,040 --> 00:17:05,799
Our Tudor Queen Elizabeth I was
a very difficult woman to impress.

337
00:17:05,800 --> 00:17:07,920
Happy Christmas, your Majesty.

338
00:17:10,880 --> 00:17:12,919
A ring. Why thank you, Cecil.

339
00:17:12,920 --> 00:17:16,279
Have this put with all the other
presents I don't like and never use.

340
00:17:16,280 --> 00:17:17,559
Yes, your Majesty.

341
00:17:17,560 --> 00:17:19,639
Lord Robert Dudley.

342
00:17:19,640 --> 00:17:20,690
Lord Dudley.

343
00:17:21,720 --> 00:17:26,199
May your Yuletide merriments
know no bounds, your Majesty.

344
00:17:26,200 --> 00:17:28,279
Oh, a present.

345
00:17:28,280 --> 00:17:32,919
- Whatever could it be?
- What does one get the Queen who has everything?

346
00:17:32,920 --> 00:17:36,480
Why, something that nobody has.

347
00:17:38,400 --> 00:17:41,199
How did this tiny clock get stuck in this bangle?

348
00:17:41,200 --> 00:17:45,359
'Tis a wrist clock, your Majesty.
The first of its kind.

349
00:17:45,360 --> 00:17:48,320
Ah, with your permission.

350
00:17:53,200 --> 00:17:56,039
Now, when there is no clock
around, you can tell the time

351
00:17:56,040 --> 00:17:58,839
with a simple look at your wrist.

352
00:17:58,840 --> 00:18:00,999
Oh!

353
00:18:01,000 --> 00:18:04,039
Why, this is far and away
my favourite present ever.

354
00:18:04,040 --> 00:18:07,679
- Isn't it marvellous, Cecil?
- Mm, yes, your Majesty.

355
00:18:07,680 --> 00:18:10,200
Let us drink to this new invention.

356
00:18:13,840 --> 00:18:16,879
- To the wrist clock.
- The wrist clock.

357
00:18:16,880 --> 00:18:19,079
Mm! Oh, dear me.

358
00:18:19,080 --> 00:18:21,239
There's no clock here in the throne room

359
00:18:21,240 --> 00:18:23,399
and I need to know the time.

360
00:18:23,400 --> 00:18:28,600
Ah, oh! Would you happen to
know what time it is, your Majesty?

361
00:18:29,920 --> 00:18:32,280
Oh! Why, it is...

362
00:18:34,200 --> 00:18:37,359
Oh, dear, Lord Dudley,

363
00:18:37,360 --> 00:18:42,599
there appears to be a serious
design flaw with your wrist clock.

364
00:18:42,600 --> 00:18:45,000
Indeed, your Majesty.

365
00:18:46,640 --> 00:18:47,840
(Yes!)

366
00:18:49,960 --> 00:18:53,719
Historians believe that
Elizabeth's gift, a wristwatch,

367
00:18:53,720 --> 00:18:56,319
was possibly the first of its kind in the world.

368
00:18:56,320 --> 00:19:00,239
Though when ugly Elizabeth looked
at it, the glass cracked! Ha-ha-ha!

369
00:19:00,240 --> 00:19:04,159
Oh, what a horrible thing to say.
Oh, I do apologise, your Majesty.

370
00:19:04,160 --> 00:19:06,919
Yes, there were all sorts
of new fashion accessories

371
00:19:06,920 --> 00:19:09,720
on show in the Tudor era.

372
00:19:12,680 --> 00:19:16,119
Oh, honestly. The state of these Tudor streets.

373
00:19:16,120 --> 00:19:18,399
One can avoid the occasional poo,

374
00:19:18,400 --> 00:19:21,519
but the whole street is just covered in it.

375
00:19:21,520 --> 00:19:25,399
Ooh, my long dress is quite ruined.

376
00:19:25,400 --> 00:19:28,479
Oh, Alice.

377
00:19:28,480 --> 00:19:31,999
Is it my imagination or have you grown?

378
00:19:32,000 --> 00:19:35,879
- Oh, that'll be my new platform shoes.
- Oh.

379
00:19:35,880 --> 00:19:38,639
I got them in the local shoe shop. Look!

380
00:19:38,640 --> 00:19:41,879
Now I can walk around in a poo-filled street

381
00:19:41,880 --> 00:19:45,119
without getting my lovely dress all mucky.

382
00:19:45,120 --> 00:19:46,319
Ah!

383
00:19:46,320 --> 00:19:47,370
SPLAT!

384
00:19:50,200 --> 00:19:51,319
You were saying?

385
00:19:51,320 --> 00:19:53,120
THEY LAUGH

386
00:19:59,280 --> 00:20:04,999
Hiya, fashion fans, and welcome
to another Historical Fashion Fix.

387
00:20:05,000 --> 00:20:07,839
This week, a Tudor peasant
will be swapping sack cloth

388
00:20:07,840 --> 00:20:12,519
for silk in an amazing makeover.
So let's meet our grubby commoner.

389
00:20:12,520 --> 00:20:13,759
It's Pete.

390
00:20:13,760 --> 00:20:15,159
- Are you ready, Pete?
- No.

391
00:20:15,160 --> 00:20:16,760
Then let's get started!

392
00:20:18,400 --> 00:20:20,999
Right. First thing's first,
we need to do something

393
00:20:21,000 --> 00:20:23,919
about that horrible hair. Am I right, Pete?

394
00:20:23,920 --> 00:20:26,399
- Actually, I...
- Of course I am.

395
00:20:26,400 --> 00:20:28,999
So to help us out, I've invited a personal friend

396
00:20:29,000 --> 00:20:31,079
all the way from the 1500s,

397
00:20:31,080 --> 00:20:33,319
it's Tudor barber, Bob the Barber.

398
00:20:33,320 --> 00:20:36,319
- She's here.
- Mwah, mwah. - Where did you get this?

399
00:20:36,320 --> 00:20:38,479
- It's vintage.
- Lovely.

400
00:20:38,480 --> 00:20:42,279
So, Bob. What are we going to do
about Pete's horrible, horrible hair?

401
00:20:42,280 --> 00:20:44,319
I'm just going to do what I do to all Tudors

402
00:20:44,320 --> 00:20:46,879
who can afford a haircut.
Cut it all the same length,

403
00:20:46,880 --> 00:20:49,119
just above the shoulder. I call it the bob,

404
00:20:49,120 --> 00:20:50,919
after myself!

405
00:20:50,920 --> 00:20:53,920
Can't wait to see the results.

406
00:20:58,240 --> 00:21:02,479
- There we are. All done.
- Thanks, Bob. You look fierce, Pete.

407
00:21:02,480 --> 00:21:06,319
Apart from that hideous wart.
I can't stop looking at it.

408
00:21:06,320 --> 00:21:08,999
Luckily, we've got a surgeon who can get rid.

409
00:21:09,000 --> 00:21:11,999
It's Tudor surgeon, Bob the Surgeon.

410
00:21:12,000 --> 00:21:14,119
Bob?! I thought he was a barber.

411
00:21:14,120 --> 00:21:16,359
No, all Tudor barbers were surgeons too.

412
00:21:16,360 --> 00:21:18,399
Hair, limbs, It's all cutting, isn't it?

413
00:21:18,400 --> 00:21:20,999
- What?!
- Can you hack off Pete's horrible wart?

414
00:21:21,000 --> 00:21:22,239
I'll give it a go.

415
00:21:22,240 --> 00:21:24,519
- I feel sick!
- Oh, I can sort that out too, love.

416
00:21:24,520 --> 00:21:27,559
Bit of bloodletting. Do you the world of good.

417
00:21:27,560 --> 00:21:28,919
Bloodletting?!

418
00:21:28,920 --> 00:21:31,039
Not only does it cure many ailments,

419
00:21:31,040 --> 00:21:33,919
but bloodletting is great
for that pale complexion

420
00:21:33,920 --> 00:21:36,999
that's all the rage in Tudor times.

421
00:21:37,000 --> 00:21:41,759
We took our inspiration for
Pete's new outfit from Henry VIII.

422
00:21:41,760 --> 00:21:43,679
The king wore big, baggy clothes

423
00:21:43,680 --> 00:21:48,039
to hide his big, bloated belly,
so everyone else started doing the same.

424
00:21:48,040 --> 00:21:52,239
Let's see if all that hard
work has paid off. Here's Pete.

425
00:21:52,240 --> 00:21:56,199
Every inch the Tudor lord.

426
00:21:56,200 --> 00:21:58,999
- How do you feel Pete?
- Can I have my mucky clothes back?

427
00:21:59,000 --> 00:22:00,359
You can't. We burned them.

428
00:22:00,360 --> 00:22:03,999
That's all we've got time
for this week on Fashion Fix.

429
00:22:04,000 --> 00:22:07,479
Join us next time when we'll
be perking up another pongy peasant.

430
00:22:07,480 --> 00:22:09,879
- See ya.
- Can someone wipe some muck on me, please?

431
00:22:09,880 --> 00:22:11,999
Can you show some gratitude, please?

432
00:22:12,000 --> 00:22:15,039
- Here, mate! Have you got any mud on you?
- Disgusting.

433
00:22:15,040 --> 00:22:17,640
I hate him. I actually hate him.

434
00:22:27,720 --> 00:22:29,999
Hello and welcome to The News At When.

435
00:22:30,000 --> 00:22:33,439
When? Ancient Egyptian
times, over 3,000 years ago,

436
00:22:33,440 --> 00:22:34,959
when the ruler of Egypt

437
00:22:34,960 --> 00:22:38,079
was a nine-year-old boy called Tutankhamen.

438
00:22:38,080 --> 00:22:40,479
He had a very strange family.

439
00:22:40,480 --> 00:22:43,839
For more details, here's
Bob Hale with the pharaoh report.

440
00:22:43,840 --> 00:22:47,079
Thank you, Sam. Well,
it's 1341BC and we're over here

441
00:22:47,080 --> 00:22:49,799
in Ancient Egypt, where
a wickle baby has been born

442
00:22:49,800 --> 00:22:51,959
and his name is Tutankhamen.

443
00:22:51,960 --> 00:22:55,239
Now, he's also known as Tutankhamen,
Tutankhamon, Tutenkarten,

444
00:22:55,240 --> 00:22:57,079
Amen-tut-ankh, Steve and King Tut.

445
00:22:57,080 --> 00:23:00,119
Though probably not Steve.
And King Tut's dad was also a king.

446
00:23:00,120 --> 00:23:03,199
A pharaoh called Akhenaten.
At least, we think that's his dad.

447
00:23:03,200 --> 00:23:06,479
It's hard to be sure. It was
so long ago, no-one can remember.

448
00:23:06,480 --> 00:23:08,319
Not even my nan and she's really old,

449
00:23:08,320 --> 00:23:10,839
though she doesn't look it. Love you, Nan.

450
00:23:10,840 --> 00:23:14,639
What we do know is that when King
Tut was just 6 years old, Akhenaten died.

451
00:23:14,640 --> 00:23:17,999
Yes, his daddy became a mummy,
which is a very complex operation

452
00:23:18,000 --> 00:23:21,159
and King Tut's big brother
Smenkie becomes pharaoh

453
00:23:21,160 --> 00:23:24,239
and then promptly dies. Then
replaced by his sister, Neffie.

454
00:23:24,240 --> 00:23:27,079
Who then promptly dies.
Meaning that at just 9 years old,

455
00:23:27,080 --> 00:23:30,639
- Tutankhamen becomes pharaoh, which I thing is
- pharaoh-nuff.

456
00:23:30,640 --> 00:23:34,559
All right, no more jokes. Running
a country is no job for a 9-year-old

457
00:23:34,560 --> 00:23:37,439
because it's far too boring,
so King Tut's uncle turns up.

458
00:23:37,440 --> 00:23:41,399
- A chap called Ay and he says he will keep an
- Ay - on things. Sorry, sorry.

459
00:23:41,400 --> 00:23:43,239
Forgot. So Uncle Ay runs the country

460
00:23:43,240 --> 00:23:45,879
so that King Tut can get
on with doing all the fun stuff

461
00:23:45,880 --> 00:23:48,839
that kids do, like play games,
go to school and get married.

462
00:23:48,840 --> 00:23:51,679
Yep, getting married.
If you thought that was weird,

463
00:23:51,680 --> 00:23:55,319
to keep his royal blood line pure,
his new wife is his sister. Yeugh!

464
00:23:55,320 --> 00:23:58,999
And she used to be his
stepmum, so it's double-yeugh!

465
00:23:59,000 --> 00:24:00,639
Anyway, King Tut grows up,

466
00:24:00,640 --> 00:24:02,799
Uncle Ay hands over power to Mr and Mrs Tut

467
00:24:02,800 --> 00:24:06,039
and they rule Egypt together
as husband and wife-mum-sister.

468
00:24:06,040 --> 00:24:07,600
And that's the end of that.

469
00:24:09,440 --> 00:24:10,519
Or so we thought.

470
00:24:10,520 --> 00:24:13,439
But history books say Uncle
Ay didn't want to give up power,

471
00:24:13,440 --> 00:24:16,359
so he killed King Tut by bashing
him on the head, like that.

472
00:24:16,360 --> 00:24:18,319
Yep. That'd do it. Except it didn't.

473
00:24:18,320 --> 00:24:21,679
It turns out the history books
were wrong and King Tut actually died

474
00:24:21,680 --> 00:24:24,999
from an infected broken leg,
leaving Mrs Tut with a broken heart

475
00:24:25,000 --> 00:24:28,279
and the Crown of Egypt, which
of course Uncle Ay wants for himself.

476
00:24:28,280 --> 00:24:30,999
How does he plan to get
it? Well, by marrying Mrs Tut,

477
00:24:31,000 --> 00:24:34,079
even though she's his
granddaughter, which is yeugh!

478
00:24:34,080 --> 00:24:35,919
Times this much.

479
00:24:35,920 --> 00:24:38,199
Ooh! But Mrs Tut has other ideas.

480
00:24:38,200 --> 00:24:41,319
She decides to marry a foreign
prince called Zannanza instead

481
00:24:41,320 --> 00:24:45,079
because he's got such a cool name,
but sadly Zannanza gets cold feet.

482
00:24:45,080 --> 00:24:48,079
Cold everything, because he dies.
Killed on his way to Egypt

483
00:24:48,080 --> 00:24:51,559
by a very jealous Uncle Ay who
then finally marries his granddaughter.

484
00:24:51,560 --> 00:24:53,999
They live happily, ruling Egypt together

485
00:24:54,000 --> 00:24:56,160
for ages and ages and that's the end of that.

486
00:24:56,161 --> 00:25:03,999
What a life. Born in Dublin to a blind darts
player, the first woman to swim across Ireland,

487
00:25:04,000 --> 00:25:07,679
and would you believe it? She's 99 today.
So, come on everyone.

488
00:25:07,680 --> 00:25:10,999
Happy birthday to you Happy birthday to you

489
00:25:11,000 --> 00:25:14,679
Happy Birthday, Nanny
Bob Happy birthday to you.

490
00:25:14,680 --> 00:25:17,080
And back over to Sam
to blow out the candles. Sam.

491
00:25:22,400 --> 00:25:26,479
Tutankhamen was one of
Egypt's most famous pharaohs

492
00:25:26,480 --> 00:25:29,519
but not quite as famous as this one.

493
00:25:29,520 --> 00:25:31,519
Rah rah, Cleopatra

494
00:25:31,520 --> 00:25:33,479
Famous beauty coming at ya

495
00:25:33,480 --> 00:25:35,399
Rah rah Patra-Cleo

496
00:25:35,400 --> 00:25:37,199
Guys all go gaga for me, oh

497
00:25:37,200 --> 00:25:40,839
I am a leader and a lady and a queen

498
00:25:40,840 --> 00:25:44,719
I'm Cleopatra, such a queen never been seen

499
00:25:44,720 --> 00:25:48,279
I am a pharaoh yet they're all meant to be guys

500
00:25:48,280 --> 00:25:52,719
But I don't care-o I just wear a beard disguise

501
00:25:52,720 --> 00:25:55,879
My mum and dad were
pharaohs I thought I was too

502
00:25:55,880 --> 00:25:59,879
But both my older sisters
thought that they should rule too

503
00:25:59,880 --> 00:26:03,919
Oh, dear, they both died
I wonder who that will leave

504
00:26:03,920 --> 00:26:07,599
Little me, oh pharaoh
Cleo OK, no time to grieve

505
00:26:07,600 --> 00:26:12,119
Think that's alarming
you'd be right but it gets worse

506
00:26:12,120 --> 00:26:16,279
Married my half-brother
and we ruled the Universe

507
00:26:16,280 --> 00:26:19,039
That bad romance led to an overcrowded throne

508
00:26:19,040 --> 00:26:22,959
But then died boo-hoo so now I'm all alone

509
00:26:22,960 --> 00:26:25,439
Wow wow wow wow wow

510
00:26:25,440 --> 00:26:26,719
All hail Lady Cleo

511
00:26:26,720 --> 00:26:29,039
Wow wow wow la la

512
00:26:29,040 --> 00:26:31,840
Coolest pharaoh by far

513
00:26:34,280 --> 00:26:36,119
Fashion took my list of vices

514
00:26:36,120 --> 00:26:38,199
Bathed in ass's milk and spices

515
00:26:38,200 --> 00:26:40,079
Then I dress liked goddess Isis

516
00:26:40,080 --> 00:26:41,839
Long black hair in ringlets nicest

517
00:26:41,840 --> 00:26:43,919
Vipers too for men entices

518
00:26:43,920 --> 00:26:45,840
Finest linen robe, top prices

519
00:26:50,320 --> 00:26:53,319
Married another brother He's an OK geezer

520
00:26:53,320 --> 00:26:57,319
But never told of my love for Julius Caesar

521
00:26:57,320 --> 00:27:01,319
Had Caesar's child and
hoped that he'd be crowned king

522
00:27:01,320 --> 00:27:04,919
My bro said no, I said oh and I murdered him

523
00:27:04,920 --> 00:27:08,479
Cos I am Cleopatra Egypt's royalty

524
00:27:08,480 --> 00:27:12,199
The ruling pharaoh Don't
you dare all mess with me

525
00:27:12,200 --> 00:27:16,079
My poker face smiles only when I see

526
00:27:16,080 --> 00:27:20,159
A man who takes my fancy like Oh, Mark Anthony

527
00:27:20,160 --> 00:27:21,999
Wow wow wow wow wow

528
00:27:22,000 --> 00:27:24,039
Another Roman leader

529
00:27:24,040 --> 00:27:26,279
Wow wow wow la la

530
00:27:26,280 --> 00:27:27,759
No Egyptian crowd pleaser

531
00:27:27,760 --> 00:27:30,119
Rah rah Cleopatra

532
00:27:30,120 --> 00:27:31,559
Finally I'd met my match-a

533
00:27:31,560 --> 00:27:33,479
Rah rah Patra-Cleo

534
00:27:33,480 --> 00:27:35,159
Ends in death for him and me-o

535
00:27:35,160 --> 00:27:37,199
My life was a drama

536
00:27:37,200 --> 00:27:39,239
I was one kooky mama

537
00:27:39,240 --> 00:27:42,399
Wow wow wow, you know

538
00:27:42,400 --> 00:27:46,559
Today I'd be a favourite of the paparazzo.

539
00:27:46,560 --> 00:27:49,479
No pictures, no pictures.

540
00:27:49,480 --> 00:27:50,799
Tall tales, atrocious acts

541
00:27:50,800 --> 00:27:52,919
We gave you all the fearsome facts...

542
00:27:52,920 --> 00:27:54,959
Want some more Horrible Histories?

543
00:27:54,960 --> 00:27:57,039
then come with me down the Time Sewers.

544
00:27:57,040 --> 00:28:00,519
Just go to the CBBC website
and click on Horrible Histories.

545
00:28:00,520 --> 00:28:02,000
See you down there.

546
00:28:03,840 --> 00:28:05,879
Subtitles by Red Bee Media Ltd

547
00:28:05,880 --> 00:28:07,920
E-mail subtitling@bbc.co.uk

548
00:28:07,970 --> 00:28:12,520
Repair and Synchronization by
Easy Subtitles Synchronizer 1.0.0.0


